I did it

It feels kind of ..unfair? to up and leave almost SEVEN years of journals, but you know. Those things are dead weight now.

SO
ONE LAST TIME



SEE YA LATER, SUCKERS!

APPARENTLY
I AM PRETTY LIKE A SUNSET



.
<3azz

SHIZZY DAY HAS COME AND GONE
HAIR DAY, TOO, HAS PASSED.

They were so good. They were so good. They were SO FUCKING GOOD.

Ok ok ok so yesterday (SHIZZY DAY JUNE THIRD WHEN I WAS BORN) I alllmost slid out of control. I was hanging out with brad until like. 4am and didn't actually sleep till GOD knows when maybe 6? so I missed my 8am dexedrine and slept until two. Upon awakening I found myself in the all-too-familiar hedonistic, lazy and food-loving mindset that overcomes me when I fall off of my schedule.
SO OF COURSE
The first thing I do is drag my groggy ass to MCDONALDS YAY FRIES AND SNACK WRAPS. Meng it was a big ordeal for me, and by the time I got home an hour had passed since i woke up, and by god was I ready for a nice long nap! HOWEVER I SHOWERED OMG ISN'T THIS FASCINATING and tried to stay up that final hour or two that would allow me to get back on my schedule. I FAILED GUYS but I only had an hour nap before B-rad and Co. decided they were gonna come rock out with me BECAUSE IT'S FUN AS SHIT AND THEN MY MOM CAME HOME WITH CAKE

SHE BROUGHT CAKE

CAKE CAKE
CAKE

CAKE ICE CREAM CAKE

and I had half a piece it was good and then we WENT TO GATSBYS OH MY GOD I AM REALLY GOING OFF ON TANGENTS THIS WAS WHERE I MEANT TO START.


OK OK OK SO LAST NIGHT WE WENT FIRST and oh god you guys well I guess just you Brad the others don't have elljayss. WE DID SO WELL we really did we would have won by A LONG SHOT if we hadn't failed our last song - green grass and high tides, with brad on expert guitar. I'm not upset with him at all, nor was I, for failing because COME ON - GREEN GRASS AND HIGH TIDES ON EXPERT.

BUT BUT THEN THERE WAS THE GREAT REVELATION THAT THEY ARE GONNA HAVE IT EVERY WEEK FOR AT LEAST A COUPLE OF MONTHS and then there was a few hours of drunken Rock-Bandin' AND I WAS SO HAPPY oh god I was bursting and writhing and just..just radiating excitement and flailing whenever anyone offered me an instrument and jsuahhu they gave me a free birthday shot that I had to drink from the center of a dish of whipped cream and i loved just stomping around after pretending I was RABID this is why I love brushing my teeth.

AFTER THIS MY MEMORY DETERIORATES A LITTLE so LET'S SKIP TO THE NEXT DAY =DD


well actually I'll just say THAT I HAVE THE SWEETEST HAIR I'VE EVER FUCKING HAD IN MY LIFE BY FAR BY FAR BY FARRR and I will wait until tommorrow to take better photos because I WILL BE WORKING AND BORED AND HAVE NOTHING TO DO FOR EIGHT HOURS IN A CAMERA STORE.


OK? OK?O OKK?

ROCK BAND?

AHH JHKjhkjh deh edjfH

EVERY TUESDAY NIGHT NOW

THAT'S RIGHT THAT'S RIGHT THAT'S RIIIGHHTT

ROCK BAND AND BOOZE AND SPACE TO RUN AROUND WHILE PLAYING


oh god oh god oh god oh god I am so happy I AM SO HAPPY

not enough time to go over last night in detail Squidz, I'll write about it later because I GOTTA GET READY I GOT A HAIRDATEEEE

god just though. okay last night I have NEVER been that excited and justOVERWHELMED with giddyness and joy and FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN

I BOOKED IT EVERYWHERE I COULD. TO THE BATHROOM TO THE BAR OUTSIDE I WOULD JUST FLLYYY AND SKIP AND GRAB ARMS ANDJGFKRWAFEWAHGFAHGJKEGHSE
GEGJKESLJGHFKESLWA


GOOD GOD GOOD GOD GOOOD GOD EVERY WEEK EVERY WEEK EVERY WEEEEEEKK HEJHSEJESHJ HJHJ HEFUowHU

I'll be a hurricane
When I grow up
AN UGLY THUNDER!

I'll be a forest fire
about to flood
OVER AN EMPIRE

I'll be an avalanche
chewing it's raptured
I'll be a killer whale
When I grow up..


I'LL BE A MONSTER.

Tonight I am. I don't know.

Tonight is like. the night where I realize that I can do anything i want. I can choose any path I want to take, adna nd and I don't have to wait up for nothin'! Woo!

BOUNCE DANCE BOUNCE DANCE STOMPY POUDN POUND BEER ROCK BAND TIEM

whateverisinmeisfoamingatthemouthandflippingoveritselffffffenergy.

HALF AN HOUR half an hour half an hour half of an hourrrfkhsh thennn

home home home home

NAP NAP NAP NAP


NAPPPPANPOSKJHSE NAP.

"Quackenbush" is quite possibly one of the best surnames EVER.

I deserve



a great. fucking vacation.

peace out homiezzzzz

for some reason, though i feel like shit right now, I find myself more interested in style than before. I just..didn't give a shit about what I wore, really.

I have a really definate style, but that hasn't been seen for a really long time. Out of shame. whatever.

god. this. god i don't know. fuck everything.

10 pounds in one week, mother fuckers.

clean litter, room, clothes, body, face every night mother fuckers.

dexedrine twice a day (but a good dose finally), mother fuckers.

NORMAL SLEEP SCHEDULE, MOTHER FUCKING FUCKERS.

win.

I am made of fail.

I guess it kind of feels like drowning.

I'm trying so hard to keep my life together, but it's not working so well and everything is scattered and shattered and..just. so panicked. so distressed. god.

This semester has been a disaster. Out of 5 courses, I dropped one, gave up on another, and will more than likely fail a third. Great! I've been feeling so awful the whole year, and a bomb was dropped in my life a few days ago that just eradicated any chance of catching up with this one frail course...god. what happened? I feel horrible.

hrwskjhj i had this window open to write about something else but in the interim was messaged by an ebay seller in response to a question i had regarding his RB67. and ejsahkerash efjksahrksjeh ARR BEE SIX SEVENNNN i haves it. well, -will- have it.

teeheg.se/gt/s

I CAN'T SAY THAT YOU'RE LOSING ME
BU I MUST BE THAT WHICH I AM
THOUGH I KNOW WHERE THIS COULD TAKE ME

NO TEARS
NO SYMPATHY

Last night I had the pleasure of shooting the NSCAD Wearable Art Show at the marquee...It was fucking amazing! My cameras' battery died about 15 minutes before the end, just short of 1000 shots (4 gigs ftw!) I'm so pleased with my work, namely the fact that I went from knowing nothing to almost being able to control everything i was doing (..almost lol.) I learned on-the-spot how to pop 'n drag, which looked fucking amazing when i synced my flash up with my rear curtain.

The show itself was fucking amazing. Wow. I am so impressed, amazed - I wish i could have gone for the previous 17 years! There were some phenomenally sexy sets, phenomenally hilarious sets, weird sets, and just plain NSCAD sets. You know what I mean. It was such an amazing mix between high-end, proffessional runway show and that NSCAD quirky style. Fuck it was awesome. I was shooting from noon until midnight, with the exception of having to work 3-6.

( +18 more under the cut )

I love it here.

It's just so comforting and welcoming and nice. Everyone I work with is wonderful, the job is (relatively) relevant and the hours are so good!


someone just gave me a package of mini eggs because they thought of me when they saw them. <3.

I start working in an hourrr and a halffjdskflsehfekh hkhajhjah1!!!!godGSKESHKJH!!HEhejskh

GUESS WHERE I WORK

I WORK AT CARSAND MOSHER AGAIN.

EYAHHh.

I don't know if I mentioned this when I wrote about Blacks' being assholes to me, but the day that they told me they were taking me off the schedule I had coincidentally dropped my resume back off at Carsand; I figured since they had lost at least two full-time people recently, I would have the best chance of being the person to go to to fill in at peak times. I had given up on them calling me - Daryl, the manager, said on the day that I dropped it off that the head office was having a meeting about staff the next day; two and a half weeks or so later and no e-mail, so I thought they had decided not to hire anyone.

BUT THEN I GOT AN E-MAIL AND NOW I WORK 12-4!! TODAY! and every monday. as well as thursdays and fridays 3-6, and Saturdays 10-5. Holy fuck those are such awesome hours. During the week it gives me a lot of time with which I can still get work done before and after my shift, and even on Saturday, 10 is a nice late hour to start, and five is a nice early hour to end. And it's such a stable schedule!

God. I can't believe this; I'm so excited!